Hot Dog Eating: the most American sport ever

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I love sports and I love food, so yes I think the world of the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Competition.

HELLO CONEY ISLAND.

Happy Independence Day/4th of July. You all know how big of a day this is for merica, but for one of the best athletes in the world, history could be in the making.

Joey Chestnut, who ate 74 hot dogs in 10 minutes last year will look to break that record, and embarrass the pack.

Now I’ve got a lot of thoughts on this, but I’ll keep it to three.

1. Chestnut is the most impressive athlete in the world and here’s why; a normal human being would have a much better chance to break the world record in the marathon or javelin throwing, before they’d even get a sniff at Joey’s hot dog eating world record.

2. This is ten minutes of pure electricity. I’ll compare this competition to Game 7 Stanley Cup overtime. You’re on the edge of your seat (or couch) watch these mad men crush copious amounts of food with no shame and all pride. An upset would be legendary too.

3. If you’re mad about people promoting this event with your reasoning being “there are people starving”, you’re an idiot. In the snap of a finger, Jeff Besoz or Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates or Warren Buffett of Larry Ellison could end world hunger. So if you’re furious about a 30 for 30 or tv channels promoting this great event, you damn well better not be using social media, Microsoft, L’Oréal, Google, shopping at/on Walmart, EBay, Alibaba etc. You know where I’m getting with this, be petty at real issues, not stirring the pot just for attention.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Kidding, not done yet.

If you’re still reading after that rant, I’ll end off on this. July 4th is great, you’re lucky to live in a great country no matter what issues faced, it could always be worse and can we please start respecting Joey Chestnut as one of the best athletes of all time? Thanks.

CJ

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